Are you in love or in a relationship?

Posted: February 19, 2014 in Love and Relationships

I was chatting with a friend who was sounding very low in comparison to normal days. I asked her upfront that what is wrong with her.

“Nothing yaa. My boyfriend fought with me again yesterday. We had a fight and he ridiculed me in front of everyone. Finally he blocked me.” She replied.

“But, last week on Valentine’s you went for a holiday with him and everything seemed perfect. I even saw all your pictures. What happened? He definitely didn’t seem this kind.” I got little worried.

She continued, “ Ya we did go, but it’s a regular story. He operates according to his mood. Forget it. It is his nature. I will be fine. Don’t worry.” Although she said don’t worry, I was more anxious about the façade we see in everyday life.

Well, it’s sad but the valentine week is over. In short, the only week when millions of people express love to each other is over. The million dollar question is-what to do now? Nothing! No one is going to ask you for at least couple of months what you are going to gift your partner. So it’s fine. You can ignore her, ridicule her, doubt her, cheat her and even call her a whore.

Don’t you think the time of unconditional romance and love is evaporating? Not that there are no exceptions, but mostly days like Valentine’s Day have just been reduced to a week of flaunting your ‘relationship’ and gifts in front of the whole world, and after which you quietly slip into a routine mode. Ask yourself whether you are actually in love or just in a relationship!

Love is now more of a need wherein you prepare a checklist of eligibility criterion before looking for someone, and once someone qualifies all the criteria’s the situation takes a romantic spin. Even though love should be a matter of serendipity, mostly you meet someone at a pub and start with an initial look test to see whether she is hot, have curves, have a dimple, etc. Once it is done, you start looking for other factors. When you try to customize someone before entering a companionship you are unknowingly signing up a catalogue of terms and conditions. You ensure that there are more plus points to meet your expectations. As soon as the agreement of relationship is signed by both the parties, both of them attain a right to avail all the conveniences provided through this association.


You will do all the things that are required to pose a picture perfect couple image in front of the whole world and one day suddenly you will realize your partner is either possessive, immature or boring –-the most common terms to bid adieu to someone–and it has got nothing substantial to offer. Finally everything falls flat like a house of cards! Now you become single again and try to work on the flaws you had in your previous affair in order to impress someone else. You will meet another girl at a party; her cute face and modern intellect will arouse many elements inside you, and congratulations you are in Love again.

This will commence the same old pattern-checklist, gifts, Facebook updates, Valentine’s Day and then BREAK UP!! Over the years, certainly, we have re-defined many things and have started deeming a mere relationship as being in Love. This is why I asked in the beginning are you in a relationship or love?  You must be wondering what exactly goes wrong every time! The answer is the CHECKLIST kept with you before signing up for an association. It just talks about the pros and cons and nothing else; emotions and matters of heart take a backseat.  You can compare modern relationships to a coin; we only see the best side in the initial days and once it gets flipped we realize what kind of person we have landed up with or vice versa.  But then what is the solution to this? Break up and move on with someone else?


This time don’t follow the same vicious cycle of falling in and out of love. Instead try to understand what you are looking for –love or a relationship.  Don’t get involved with someone just for your Facebook album or profile picture because life definitely goes beyond that.  Help yourself become a loving and dedicated partner. Even if you are single for a while, don’t worry; wait for the one who inspires you to be a better person and most importantly inspires you to be in love unconditionally in place of being in a string of failed Facebook picture-induced companionships.  Because love is not about just Valentine’s Day, a Facebook album or about checklists that a person can serve you with; it is about staying together even when odds are stacked against you.

  1. Boon says:

    i strongly recommend you to start a book ! all my good wishes

  2. @Boon: Yes thats my agenda for 2014..Lets see what happens..As I always say, its all in destiny..But, If I start something I will keep you updated about it.. :-* :-*

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