Decoding the impact of ‘Queen’ in my life

Posted: March 11, 2014 in Love and Relationships, Movies, Personal

It’s been 4 days since I have seen the Kangna Ranaut starrer ‘Queen’ and I am just unable to take it out of my head. I don’t remember walking out of a theater feeling so charged up and cheerful in a long time. It’s as if somebody has forced an additive drug down my throat and since then I can’t stop smiling thinking about it. Writing has always been a cathartic process that makes a strong attempt to liberate you from all your internal conflicts and contemplations. This is why I thought that until and unless I bring that overwhelming ‘Queen’ feeling on paper, I won’t be able to put a halt to my wandering mind.


By now you have must heard or read rave reviews about it. So, I won’t dwell much into the story or the fact that how fabulous it is. But, surely it was a metaphorical ride from vulnerability to potency for several under confident girls like me. The fact that I saw it on International Women’s Day makes it even more special and blissful.

Her awkward dance moves, gauche crying after few drinks, her modest Kurta with Jeans, carefully putting the Cardigan in the handbag while dancing madly in a pub, her disappearing Mehndi, selling Gol Gappe, bonding and staying with three boys irrespective of language barrier…….the list is infinite. My heart was just brimming with joy every time I saw the character Rani–played flawlessly by Kangna Ranaut.  It is easier to tell a melodramatic heart break story where the character oscillates between white to black shades. It is easier to tell the cruelty of a cold family. But, who would have thought that the story of an ordinary girl from your vicinity will be caught so brilliantly by Vikas Bahl (the director).


Even though Rani is dumped by her fiancée just two days before the wedding, she does not linger on that murky mood for long.  In contrast, she decides to visit her pre-booked honeymoon destinations Paris and Amsterdam alone. When Rani starts with her journey she was incapable of many things- lifting her bags properly, speaking confidently, walking boldly, crossing road without holding someone’s hand, and mostly importantly she was incapable of figuring out her own potential. A chance meeting with a free-spirited girl Vijay Laxmi, almost getting mugged by a thief and succeeding in not letting the bag go, drinking and dancing on the streets, living with three unknown people from different countries, selling Gol Gappe and earning money, helped Rani to regain the self-confidence that was concealed in her for so long.


For telling a tale of internal doubts and reservations so precisely, Queen deserves a standing ovation from everyone! I am sure there is something of every girl in her story. You will indisputably find an unsaid understanding with every nuance of Rani.  For the past 4 days, I am just wading through my photo albums of old trips and thinking that how travelling can bring out the best in you; it is like a poetry which helps to open your mind, step out of your problems and understand the deeper meaning of life. 3 years ago I got acquainted with something similar as Rani.

I was working in Kolkata in the year 2011 and what a miserable year that was! A dissatisfying job you want to puke on, a Hari Sadu type boss who always wants to prove that you are wrong, and the long-hours devoted in just reaching your office on time. By the end of the week I was never left with any enthusiasm to go out, read or write something. How I wished this frivolous torture ended somewhere. But, alas again the next Monday embraced me into its venomous arms. I was just reduced into a machine who worked daily for 10-11 hours, travelled for 3 hours and came back home just to sleep. This would have continued for eternity if one day I did not get a call for job offer from Baroda, Gujrat.

Initially I was skeptical to relocate to a new city just with a mere phone call and email, but then I convinced myself that I had to start somewhere. I gave an online test, followed by telephonic round of interview and in no time I had the offer letter in my hand. A wave of gloominess captured my house when I broke the news to my family that I want to shift my base in the coming month. Defying all the warnings and potential odds, I packed my bags and set out on an exhilarating expedition of finding myself.

This job was an embodiment of everything that I was looking for –nurturing of talent, a team of people motivating you every second, brain storming sessions, weekend parties, cricket matches, financial independence, and above all a feeling that you have arrived! However, I was adamant in my thought process that I would not get into any kind of emotional attachments or friendship in professional life as it always leads to mess. Moreover, my reclusiveness and lack of confidence was also related to the kind of setbacks I had seen previously. I was never even confident in what I was wearing. But, luck had some other plans for me.

One month after joining the office, I received a New Year party invitation from a colleague called Sakshi and her friend Avichal. At first I was averse, then I gave in thinking that what will I do anyway sitting alone and watching TV. I asked her what we are supposed to wear on that day. She mentioned very calmly “dress, aur kya!” I almost choked listening that. How can a girl like me -who wears nothing besides jeans and tee- think of even wearing a dress? I had made up my mind that this cannot happen at any cost, but with little bit of pestering I went ahead and bought myself a dress. However, eventually I made a fool of myself when I wore white jeans beneath the dress just because I was not comfortable in showing off my legs 😛 But, that was the start I guess. I had shed my emotional inhibitions by the end of the party and was out of the mental blockage that had gripped me for all these years.

In the following months, I shared a great rapport with Sakshi and Avichal to the extent of staying together as a family. I saw a completely new Indrani who was buried inside for long. I was more confident in my approach, be it interacting with anyone, wearing anything I like or being at ease with myself. For some time I went through a very low phase in my personal life and that drew me back to my shell again. After some days, the brooding vanished and I stepped out on a travelling riot to different places.


Yes, I had actually realized my worth; the worth of the precious gift called life. Having been to Diu, Daman, Ahmedabad, Gandhinagar and all crazy amusement destinations with just my friends (on a bike) instead of parents made me a stronger and independent person. My mother now gets astounded to see me packing my bags unaided, boarding a flight and going all the way to Dehradun alone just to attend a college friend’s wedding.

When I look back I absolutely have no misgiving about anything. Today, I am so passionate about travelling to new places that an annual vacation is always on my to-do list. Like Rani, even I discovered myself through travelling. No wonder even my name has a (Ind)‘Rani’ embedded in it. Watching Rani on screen was like going on a flashback trip.


The purpose of writing this long (I hope not boring) article is to tell all you women that for the love of yourself, please take your foot off the paddle for a while and take a lone journey to somewhere where you can transform your fragility into strength and stay away from things that do not make any difference to your life 🙂

And yes, I love you Kangna Ranaut for talking, smiling, crying, walking, giggling, singing and dancing like no one could ever do ❤


Disclaimer: The queen stills are a result of Google search

  1. Alok Vats says:

    Good to read this blog Indrani. 🙂 I was not a big fan of Kangana so far, but I think this movie has changed my mindset a bit.

  2. Mancy says:

    Wow Indrani! So glad to have read your blog tonight. Wow sweetie, you’re a terrific woman.

  3. Mit Parmar says:

    This film is inspiring for me. It really came out at great time when I needed an inspiration shot.

  4. Akshit Choudhary says:

    Its true that one can totally relate to discovery of oneself with radomized travelling patterns! I hope the enthusiasm doesn’t ends ever and the spark you have never extinguish. Good job ind”Rani”. 🙂

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