Do you want to work after marriage?

Posted: April 7, 2014 in Lifestyle, Personal, Social
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This was the first question my father asked me after my last exam of final year graduation. This was not to clip my wings after my studies got over; instead he wanted to check whether or not I have any ambition left in life. No matter how much peculiar it may sound now, but the conversation followed something like this:

Dad: What are your plans now?

Me: Ummm..nothing I will wait for the graduation certificate. I am supposed to get it after two months.

Dad: No. I mean what do you want to do after your graduation? Any particular plans? Do you want to work after marriage?

Me: Ohh that! Nothing much Papa. I am already 20 so I will wait for 1 or 2 years more, and then get married.

Dad: What NONSENSE! What are you saying?

Me: Hey Papa. Don’t get angry. I will get married only to the guy you approve for me. Bas, khush?

Dad: What is wrong with you? I am not annoyed for the kind of alliance you would be gifting me with! I am shocked to hear such regressive thoughts from your mouth. After a graduation degree in biotechnology and a decent percentile in all board exams, all you could think is MARRIAGE! Shame on you.

Me: But, what’s the big deal Papa. I don’t have any plans and at least marriage will make my life more happening. Who would want to slog in an organization from 9 to 6? At least not me!

Dad: Do whatever you want! I can’t think of anything at this moment.

Yes. This is what exactly happened in the summer of 2008. Many of you would be giggling after reading this. While many of you would be shocked that how can a girl talk so idiotically to her father? I still have to come to terms with the fact that it’s been 6 years to that conversation. And today 7th of April 2014, I have completed my four years of professional life. Even though it is not a noteworthy time span for many professionals, but for the kind of person I was, this is something huge.

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I don’t know when and how this career-inclined revolution happened with me, but it undeniably brought out the best in me over all these years. Though I have no right to say this, but today when I see many of my classmates sacrificing their career after their marriage I feel very gloomy and stressed. In their own words “Marriage brings responsibilities. Besides, I have no paucity of money to struggle in office for 7-8 hours.” This sounds quite familiar to what I used to think some time ago. But, I refuse to believe this today. Because I know one thing that you cannot associate a job only with money. It would be a downright insult to an establishment that has plethora of things to offer apart from money.

How many times do you see a woman talking about her career, new found job, challenges faced at workplace, or the perks/recognition that comes her way during her tenure at a company? Certainly not many times! The only thing women know, now, is endlessly updating pictures of their kids. Of course putting up pictures is not a crime, but one must know to think beyond that. Women are unquestionably capable of much more. We have a life of our own–an individual identity.

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Our life is an anomalous fusion of different moments. Some days are going to be bad while some days are going to be bad. Apart from providing an inner creative satisfaction, your job saves you from the regular monotony and boredom of life by giving you an outlet. You do not sit back thinking the new designer salwar kamiz, for instance, purchased by your neighbour and what can you do next to be at par with her fashion style. You are able to put your energy into better use. Fallow energies tend to divert us from the real purpose of our lives, making us feel miserable at every stage. The idle time hangs on our mind pointlessly in the absence of a work.

In addition, a job shapes your personality by helping you to learn new skills and things. You keep challenging yourself to better your previous work. And a polished and busy mind is far more active and dynamic. Even the people near you get infected with your full of zip kind of approach to life. What’s more, the learned skills can be used by you as a contribution to society and community. Every person who is working in a particular field is a productive citizen who is doing his/her bit of duty to help the society with their knowledge.

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Last but not the least, a career gives you the much needed dignity and self-respect that you require to survive in a world that operates more on identity and recognition. You will no longer be just called as the daughter of your father, wife of your husband or mother of your kids. It forms a solid foundation of your individuality and makes you more responsible of your actions. I have too much respect for women who single-handedly take care of their family, but with little dedication if you are able to channelize your energy and extra time to more productive things, and ultimately support family by paying your bills, then isn’t it a good idea to balance our focus on the household chores with the real challenges of life?

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Those who are already working, try to respect the line of work that gives you so much more than money. I wish people understood that every profession comes with certain demands and it is futile to sulk about it day and night. May be the work you are doing now is not something you thought of, but the idea is not to lose hope and gradually find something that you are truly passionate about 🙂

Disclaimer: All pictures are a result of Google search!

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Comments
  1. Akshit Choudhary says:

    Not against girl working before and after marriage, but I do believe that housewives too have an identity. The only thing is we fail to realize the true effort put in by them. The efforts put in by mothers are at par with father’s. At places may be a lot more. The only thing I want to put forth here is that a balanced life with work, family and finally kids is gonna be a hell of a struggle. The job description for a mother/wife and father/husband at home may overlap (can be done by either) at some point but somethings are just person specific. It does take nerves of steel and a inexplicable amount of patience to be a working mom.

  2. @Akshit: I understood your point and I second that thought as well, but in case you havnt noticed even Iappreciated the kind of hardwork housewives put in to set up a home. All Iam talking about here is balancing both the fronts properly and giving importance to every facet of your personality. My mother is a housewife too and I love and respect her effort more than anything, but my article has more to do with today’s girls who do not take up job as do not give it that much importance in their lives..

    • Akshit Choudhary says:

      Yeah, I do agree. As a matter of fact, you will notice that Indian society focuses too much on the amount of money a guy earns (and not just India, possibly whole world). And its not because we have to make an identity, but because we are told that males are the bread winner of the family and hence males have to ensure the financial stability of the house, In most of the cases, its not the individuality that drives a guy to take up a job or earn for the family. It is more of a moral sense that acts as the driving force, But frankly, its not the same with a girl.
      I feel that being in job alone doesn’t gives anyone the individuality they are looking for. Rather it depends on how good the person is in that particular field. Lets take your example. Their are other writers too who have just started in my friend circle too and infact are the editor for institute magazine too but the nature and amount of ideas you pour into these writings make me come again and again to read it. This is individuality. Just being in job doesn’t helps. Making a mark in the field of your work combined with equal time and attention to your family and bam, you’ve the ideal recipe for a happy life. 🙂

      • @Akshit: Ohh a dear friend of mine just helped me to touch the cloud 9 adequately 😉 Coming back to what you said, I completely agree with you that men are always looked as the sole bread earner of the family, and it has more to do with the moral duty rather than the driving force. Also, being in a job doesn’t bring out your individuality. We have to work hard for it day and night. Very well said my friend. I love the way you are always so eloquent with your thoughts. Way to go \m/

  3. anshu bala says:

    Hey dear.,
    Im sure u remember roll no. 80. I was started my career for fun…offcourse dad said..try gal..but now I realized woman is not meant for only house..we are capable of so much like handing a kid of gud 30 yrs (hubby.) Two families nd lot… job z just for our own happiness nd no offense to homemakers but we all have so much to teach to this world… lets not sacrifice our parents hard earn money which thy invest on us..

    • @Anshu: Hey dear..Of course I remember you. You have put up a valid point here that lets not waste the money our parents invest in our studies. What’s the point of doing Phd for half a decade when, at the end, girls just need to sit at home! Kudos to you for a great thought! 🙂

  4. soniek says:

    I wonder why work and marriage are treated such mutually exclusive situations for Indian women. Why is the idea of having a fulfilling career and a good married life simultaneously so impossible for us.

  5. Akshit Choudhary says:

    Something for all the people here to watch! 🙂

    P.S. I’m still not taking sides, just applauding the hard work.

    • @Akshit: Hey buddy..I wont say that i was ignorant of the issues covered here because I am sure we have seen our mothers all her life doing this…and whether I say it or not but I always respect women who single-handedly manage everything.. 🙂 But, thanks for the share..it was an intriguing one..

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