We must have heard numerous adages till now that talks of how attachment can be your biggest strength. There is no denying to it because we all know it holds true in each one of us lives. But, over the years, I have experienced one noteworthy thing that if you want the sweetness in every relationship of yours to perpetuate then you need to master the skill of detachment and apply it whenever needed in your life. Detachment skill is needed for strengthening attachment, sounding a typical case of oxymoron, right?

If you step back from an awful situation of your life and try to visualize yourself from the point of view of a third person, you would see that excess of clinginess to an entity is the basic reason we are robbed of our physical and mental energy. A colleague hogging all the limelight for the project that took equal effort from your end, girlfriend/boyfriend not giving you enough time, parents not supporting when expected, getting betrayed by someone very close, the unusual feeling of jealousy and insecurity creeping in, a realization of low self-esteem that holds you back from being your real self, the anxiety of financial security growing louder with days, unmet expectations, and so on….These are some of the common reasons that stimulates emotional agitation, stress, anger, suffering, disturbance and ultimately wrecked relationships. In short, it makes you experience cul-de-sac.

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What if you did not feel too much of emotional involvement in all the above mentioned situations? What if you maintained poise and remained detached to all the incongruity regardless of whatever is happening in your life? Think how much energy you could have saved by not getting upset, angry or grumpy. Emotional shakeups disrupt your rationality and prevent you from concentrating on the matters that need to top your priority list. Too much mental dependency and involvement disturb both your mind and inner peace. The fear of letting go and acting on things at spur of the moment gets the better of you in the long run. You cannot grow in life if some people, thoughts, and events tie you down at every occasion. This is when the art of detachment comes into picture.

Most of our problems that jolt us, exhaust us and pull the carpet from under our feet are because of just one simple reason—excessive attachments. It is extremely important to master the art of detachment if you want to retain your happiness. Anyone would squabble saying that getting attached and hurt is part of human nature and it is irrevocable. But, the right balance of detachment can allow you to enjoy inner peace effectively. Every situation—whether good or bad—is temporary, and thus the sentiments that build up during this time should also be temporary. Anger, frustration and stress are temporary; while unconditional mental peace is the only constant. We need to detach ourselves from feelings that are erratic and think of only those things that are going to be permanent in our life; In case of human emotions, your peace is the only thing that is going to be constant if you do not let anyone take control of your happiness and actions.

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Take for instance, when someone does or says anything that hurts you badly, you usually end up feeling hysterical and thinking that life has come to an end. Similarly, when you get oddly close to a bunch of people and it abruptly ceases to nothing, your pent-up emotions take the form of anger and then eventually melancholy. Why is this so? This is only because you give too much importance to other people’s words rather than your own thoughts. Had you practiced emotional detachment at the time of adversity, you would have acquired composure, self-control and remained unaffected by difficult circumstances.

Having this kind of approach will shield you from unconstructive things and sooner or later there would be very few things that would have the potential to trouble you. In the personal front, I was never good with handling my ever-changing moods and temperaments. And, in retrospect, I can only attribute it to my habit of clinging onto attachments. It was not letting me grow professionally or personally. For some time now, I am learning to draw a mental boundary between me and entities that usually make me overly dependent. I am taking back the power that at some point of time I had given to the external forces for influencing my emotional well-being in a good or bad way.

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Next time when you face any unpleasant situation, try to breathe easy and wilfully detach yourself from that condition by indulging in other activities. Take a long walk, start painting, plug in your ear phone to listen to your favourite track, read motivational articles again and again or do anything that keeps you detach for a while. Even if it is not making you calm, at least a little effort from your end will gradually make sure that you start feeling complacent and liquidate anything that prevents you from channelizing your energy into productive things. Get up, take control of the steering wheel of your life and release the obsessive form of emotions to pursue your ultimate aim of leading a peaceful and happy life…. 🙂

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P.S: All pictures are a result of Google search and I have no copy right over them.

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Comments
  1. Mancy says:

    Loved it. 🙂 Btw, I got married on last sunday. 😛 Been watching your blog for again last 2 – 3 days for a new post, and here I got my blessings.

  2. Akshit Choudhary says:

    In every article I have seen the concept and the story building up from personal experiences and anecdotes. This is really good work. Everyone goes through these phases of life and so less people either talk or write about this. This is like an anchor for those to hold on to. Good Job. Keep writing!! 🙂

    • @Akshit: Yes u got it right. Every article of mine stems from personal experience, and this time too i was battling with the curse and blessing of excess attachment. At times it is difficult to choose between the pleasure and the pain. But, I will try to read this article again and again next time I lose track! 🙂

  3. Isht says:

    very well said…and well i can say with my exp that this is 100 % true…the more the attachments the more messed up ur life is 🙂

  4. Truly…need of the hour article….

  5. Gitesh Manhotra says:

    just loved this one… keep on motivating and helping the hidden events disturbing mental peace of maximum people….

  6. Rohini says:

    A sigh of relief! Thanks!

  7. Jatin says:

    Not sure how to start but I am going through a difficult professional situation and above that personal life support system seems reluctant or maybe too busy with its own chores or she feels that i will sail through it, even though I also know its a temporary turbulence. Just typed the art of detachment and came to this article. Read it and felt better that someone out there has been through this emotion and can suggest a thing or two on handling it better, i now feel its always better or safe to take people lightly if u are sensitive like me, however looking forward to more suggestions if any..

    Regards
    Jatin

    • Dear Jatin,

      First of all thanks for taking out time and reading the article. I know you are going through a difficult time, and somewhere we all are trying to combat the everyday battles of life. There was a time when even I was experiencing the genesis of melancholy, pain, stress in my mundane life. Anything that penetrates you deeply always finds a vent to come out. But, then I made a promise to myself that come what may, I will not get bogged down with the burning venom developing inside. I found peace with the fact that people become happy to be sad on the next day and- if everything goes well- they experience happiness again. Its a never ending chain. Breath easy and start practicing detachment because only that can safeguard your emotional well-being. All my best wishes. May you find the peace that you long for.
      Take care! — Indrani

  8. Regina Tanueco says:

    Thank you for sharing your nuggets of wisdom.

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