The fascination of Indian men with rape!

In the previous weekend, I went to a leading Pizza outlet to quench the sudden craving I was having for Mushroom pizza. The guys sitting in my adjacent table seemed all drained out IT professionals who were out for a casual chit-chat. As the attendant came with a menu towards me, their conversation turned to the recent Kidderpore gang rape of 21 year old female who was a housekeeping staff of a renowned shopping mall.  “But I heard that she was out till 9:30 PM. What was she doing so late?” asked one of the ‘decent’ men of the group who was having pasta with fork in his left hand and spoon in his right hand. Just the way it should be–perfect and according to the protocol.

“Even though she was working, still girls should not take so much risk with their safety. I am sure she must be drunk or waiting for her boyfriend at the bus stand when she was pulled in the car.” remarked another man from the bunch of friends who seemed proficient enough for moral policing classes. The kind of lengths they went to bulldoze the character of the woman was atrocious. Finally some more heads started nodding in agreement. Unable to control my rage by then, I shot back “Next time your sister is groped in public, the police should first scrutinize her morals,” and left the outlet without placing any order. They kept on blabbering to support their arguments, but I didn’t pay any heed to the denouement.

And these are the men whom we see wearing suits and sauntering in swanky offices.  If this is the mindset of ‘educated’ Indian men then imagine the conversations of poor, uneducated labourers who have an innate outlook to see women either pregnant or making chapattis. I am not here to point fingers at Indian men in general, but if statistics are an indicator, an Indian woman gets raped or molested every 3 minutes.  Many theories float to explain the perversion of Indian men; right from access to pornography to less stringent legal system. Nevertheless, if this is the case then Las Vegas or Holland should have highest statistics of frequent rape cases. But, this is not the case.  India leads this issue unapologetically.

Every time women in this country step out of their home, they flirt with death instead of men.  No one is certain whether or not she will be able to come back the same way as she left. Clearly something is wrong. The dynamics of men and women have always been sensitive, but of late the feeling of compassion has slipped into coma. We are becoming less understanding and more judgmental. As far as I can think the problem lies in hypocrisy. We refrain from talking about sex and yet the population of our country is 1.27 billion. Only an oppressed society can give birth to crimes. If you try to put every burning issue in closet rather than talking about it then naturally the desirability associated with it increases by leaps and bounds. We talk about FDI, drinking water, economic reforms then why we feel uncomfortable to talk about sex education or ways to curb the diabolical attitude of men.

In fact, the previous year’s Tejpal molestation case only triggered ‘elevator jokes’ amongst working men and women. Why it is so difficult for us to take up a serious issue and have a mature discussion about it? This reason is again the same thing- the apprehension related with an adult topic. So, we try to divert the topic into some ‘harmless’ humour. I feel this fear and uneasiness is the only thing that is stopping our women from blossoming. It is good to be seeped in culture, but getting confined to it creepy. If women start reacting to chauvinist remarks instantly –whether at workplace or in college- we would save ourselves from unwanted physical encounters later on.

Apart from trying to be physically strong, it is wise to discuss things openly instead of thinking that it will tarnish our image or put ourselves to shame. You can read fifty shades of grey in your bedroom, but later claim it is not your type! Articles like this can preach you to demand death penalty for the offenders, object to offensive jokes that demean women, demand censorship on item numbers, but nothing will change until amendment is brought inside. As we are approaching International women’s day in a month, I wonder how many more rapes will happen till then, how many case ‘numbers’ will be highlighted by the media and how many glasses will be clinked at restaurants while discussing morals of women. After all, GPS and CCTV cannot be installed in a human mind.