Happiness is inversely proportional to Regrets

“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” – Fawn Weaver

What this simple quote brings to table is pure logic. Although the bestselling author said it in context to marriage, I feel it applies to every facet of your life. Being happy is not a rocket science; you cannot wake up one day, read some philosophical quotes and arrive to the conclusion that you are happy. Problems are ploy of life to make you squirm with insecurity. This inescapable concept, in every run of our lives, germinated long back. However, in wider domains of human lives, it does ring a bell. Is there really any secret or magic potion to be happy? Is happiness really a matter of choice rather than destiny?

I may not be able to render you any stand-alone concrete evidence, but- over a period of time I have realized-there are some things that if you let go today then the likelihood of having a regret later on in your life can be evaded to some degree. As for me, the result may not be a 100% happy mind-because that would qualify to living a life full of mockery- but at least I have started enjoying an extension of peaceful and calmer soul. In this article, I would like to discuss some of the prominent things that I have tried to overcome in the past few years.

Letting go the fear of travelling: For some years now, I have made constant efforts to move candidly like a bird, listening to the vast unexplored world that beckons me. I have conditioned my soul and spirit to lead life –on some lucky weeks in a year-without a compass. These are days that let me learn breeziness and unlearn a monotonous routine life. The consequence- I am able to come back and embrace my personal and professional life with more passion and energy. There is always something you learn at the end of every vacation, and after letting go that fear of travelling and habit of leading a tedious schedule, the one thing that is unvarying in me is my longing to keep moving. No matter what you do, how much you earn, and what kind of responsibilities overpower you, once in a while it is good to pack your bags and set off to an unexplored location. Trust me, when you will be in your 50’s managing to eat without some of your teeth’s, you will never regret this in your life!

Letting go the apprehension to come out of a bad relationship: We all love and foster our relationships, don’t we? Contrary to popular notions, not every relation is intended to bring out the best in you. It can be your lover, a bad-ass friend or a nagging relative, whoever it is, if any relationship is not letting you grow individually and not making you a better person or hampering your emotional equilibrium, just bid adieu to it as soon as possible. No matter how difficult it may seem at first, when 20 years down the line you would be sipping your favourite cola and thinking about your guts to stand up for yourself, this will only bring a smile on your face.

Letting go the anxiety of limiting yourself because of gender: When was the last time you were told things like “You need to learn cooking as you are approaching a marriageable age” or “Being a girl you should leave your office by 6” or “You are a guy and you need to start saving money” or “Why are you always game for pink shirts, you are a man “. The modern dynamics of civilization is different and thinking on the same lines mentioned above can severely impede your journey of being consumed and happy with yourself. Do not let your gender define what you are capable of- instead just go out and clinch things that make a positive difference to your life. 10 years down the line when you would be bogged down with additional liabilities at least you won’t say the most remorseful lines in the world—I WISH I HAD DONE THAT!!!

Letting go the practice of holding grudges and not expressing to people you love: The exponential amount of hard work that you do everyday should not be an excuse to feel irritated and lose out on quality time that you could spend with your family and friends. Remember in the long run, these are the only people who would prove to be your most precious investment. Sure there are some who were close to you at once, but now are as good as strangers. Nevertheless, the least you can do is refraining from holding any grudges against them. In this way, you will take away the power from them to hurt and occupy your mind anymore. Never hesitate to express your feelings towards people who mean something to you. You never know your small gesture could end lighting many faces. Three decades later when some of these people would help you out to plan a surprise birthday for your granddaughter, you would just wink and feel good with what you have achieved over the years.

Letting go the urge to sleep “10 minutes” more and skipping gym: Yes, this one is equally important as all the points discussed above. What’s the point of earning money and being good to others if your body is not in a condition to support your impromptu ventures? A healthy body signifies a healthy and relaxed mind. The routine of working out should seamlessly seep into your daily life. Do anything- a brisk walk, running, rope skipping, or anything that can contribute towards shedding those extra kilos. But, avoid that urge to sleep ten minutes more. Some years later when everyone would startle at your robust personality, you would exude nothing else but positivity.

Happiness is a delusion. With my experience, I can just tell that happiness is inversely proportional to regrets. The less number of regrets, the more happiness prevails. Pour all your desires and in a glass and make your soul drink it. And yes certainly- “Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” 🙂

P.S: All pictures are a result of Google search and I have no copyright over them.

 

This is how you silence your critics- Part II

“This is such a horrible thing. Is it happening because I am a woman or I am married to a man from another country, why am I picked on? I got medals for India after I got married. If someone questions my roots, my family even after all that I won’t let that happen. I will remain an Indian until the end of my life”.

When ace tennis player Sania Mirza got married to Pakistan’s cricket player Shoaib Malik in 2010 she never thought that this may be used against her someday to satisfy political appetite. It is never a wise thought to juxtapose politics and sports. Yet Telangana BJP leader K Laxman, a couple of weeks ago, sparked an unwarranted controversy by addressing Sania Mirza as “daughter-in-law” of Pakistan, thereby questioning her integrity to be the brand ambassador of Telengana. The statement clearly did not go down well with Sania and thousands of her followers across the country. It pained so much when the video of her breaking down in an exclusive interview with Barkha Dutt got viral over internet.

Cut to Sep 2014, nearly two months after the controversy, Sania Mirza again hit the headlines. This time to put an end to all the speculations concerning her ‘Indian-ness’. She gave a thunderous response to K Laxman’s comment by winning the US Open Mixed Doubles Finals in partnership with Brazil’s Bruno Soares. She is the first Indian female tennis player to have won the Grand Slam title.

 

Immediately after winning the title, Sania chose to dedicate her victory to her fellow countrymen. She said, “I dedicate this victory to everybody in India, my country, and to the state of Telangana and all people of Telangana,”. This itself speaks a lot about her skills as a sportswoman and mettle to fight back all the odds.

After making it to six Grand Slam finals I don’t think she needs to establish anything in terms of her talent and expertise over the game. Howbeit, the way some politicians exploit her personal life for their political intention is completely appalling. Sports person should always be privy to constant encouragement from their countrymen. There should be some emotional anchor that can boost their self-esteem to fight till end to raise their country’s flag. So, Mary Kom is not a chinki and neither Sania Mirza is a Pakistani. They are those rare Indians who have the guts to stand up and make India bask in the glory of success. We are proud of Sania and its high time the politicians find some other issue to come in the glare of publicity.

My heartiest congratulations to Sania for adding a major triumph to her name.